Frenemies

At this age..
32 years old !!

I am mature enough to appraise people..

I am "Don't Trust People" type of person !!

Yes.. I am..

I make friends everyday and everywhere..but i only keep few surrounding..
Because there is so many "FRIENEMIES" out there..

In this age..
I don't need a friend who talk behind other friends..
I don't need a friends for girl talk about that boy or that man..
I don't need a friend who asked me for hang out every day and night..
I don't need a friend who judge me for what i suppose to do or what i not to do..
I don't need a friend who spread a bad story about me..
I don't need a friend who stab my back..

What i need..
A friend that i can call sometimes to talk at least 20 minutes on the phone..not a serious talk..just a normal story..
A friend who can spend at least 1 hour at Mamak to share "what happened to you" then go back home..i love to spend my time indoor instead of outdoor..
A friend that i can share "house-keeping-work thingy"..
A friend that i can ask for groceries price comparison..which detergent is good..which shop is cheaper..where is the cosy place that i can eat and read at the same time..where should i spend my day for vacation..

In this age..
No secret to be share with others and need them to keep it..
No bad talk behind other friend..
No love story to be tell..

In this age..
I am happy with the life i had..
I am comfortable with the routine i had..

That's all..nothing else that i need..
So please..
i don't need a FRIENEMIES like you !!

Terkadang

Sometimes..

All the things that i had planned went upside down..

Suddenly i lost the track..my view was so hazy..

The path i took no longer the right one..

I feel so weak..

Then i tried to have self-refelection..

Try to find my self.. try to check foot print that i left far away behind me..

Trying to look back the path i have took..

Yes..i can see the mistake i have made..one by one..

That mistakes brought me here..the lost world !!

Seriously??

I crlued up my body..tried to flash back..no..
Yes..I know this is not a right time for me to comfort my self..
But..come on, i need time to figure out !!

I need time to fix it !! Not all thing can be fix easily..

Thi is life crisis..I don;t want to cry all night long for the rest of my life..

NO WAY !!

I know i can't return back..but i still have a chance to fix the things..

So, please let me cuddling my self here for a while to think..

My eyes must be sharp to catch all the mistakes that i might be overlooked..

My brain must be wisely think the way out and the solution..

Not a reason !! A solution !!

I don't want people see how weak i am..

I know im not a super woman or wonder woman..

But i m too weak to wait others to rescue me !!

I know Allah gave me this test to make me stronger..

Allah would never give something more that we could bear..

Its okay..what i need now is time and space for me to figure out the solution..i believe that Allah may help me for this..